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i will be the first one to say “i do not like pilates.” but on the flipside, i absolutely love pilates, that is the workout on the apperatus. maybe it’s the years of being used to the movement and particular breath work in yoga, where my body just has a hard time to adapt to mat pilates – the form you find in most gyms around the country.

working on the pilates machinery is a completely different animal to tackle. i view it as more strength training than stretching.  it is a beautiful compliment to a yoga practice. it’s also deceptive. you only do a few moves (maybe a count of 8 or 10) and that’s it. you move on to the next thing.  it’s deceptive. you don’t feel the work you have done until later. but oh how glorious the delayed onset muscle soreness is when it does sink in.  

Anne Marie took it a bit easy on me because my ankle was feeling rather sore from hiking yesterday. (clutzy me tripped four times.) i guess she planned a very leg intenstive workout and she had to switch gears. also some of the work, i felt it in my bad hip (down the sciatic nerve).

overall i had a great time working out this way. i wish i could take classes in pilates reformer but they are so dang expensive.  eventually i suppose.  everytime i am lucky enough to get on the pilates equiptment with instruction,  i find the pull to get deeper into it.  she had me on the reformer, the cadalliac and the chair. it was a good lesson, and man i feel it across my upper back.

with this being a holiday weekend, i have no idea what i am going do phyisically. friday and saturday are about the same schedule…i teach a class,  then i have a massage client. i do have sunday and monday completely off, and i am considering going hiking again (although i would have to pay for parking) only if i can go in the early morning.  if i can’t go hiking then i’ll pick up a season parking pass  ($10)and head to the beach for a walk.

oh and on the way to hiking yesterday, i noticed a bike path/route. so it’s another option in my get fierce journey.

i haven’t started the food journal yet, but i back to actually making sure i eat regularly. there was a lemon bar and a glazed donut i did snack on, but the majority of my food has been been clean and whole foods.


list making runs deep within me.  maybe it’s a virgo thing.

after writing yesterday i thought about what should i do about exercising.  sure i have my gym partner Michela on some days….but what about those days without her?  My biggest downfall in the past has been resting days when it comes to working out.  it becomes easier for me to stay in resting mode than to just keep moving.  it doesn’t have to be a big workout, just something to keep me on track. the antsyness drives me nuts when i do get into the groove of working out and have resting days.  i have to keep up that drive to continue to move.  so my plan will not include any official resting days only lighter days. if my body does say rest, i will.

the other thing running through my mind is that i’ve been wanting to play with ellen barrett’s studio workouts.  when i was able to attend her classes at the studio, i enjoyed them.  unfortunately, she closed her studio but she did release the workouts on dvds. i don’t own those specific dvds, but she did a similar series for crunch fitness which i do own.

challenges have also been a really good motivator for me, since i can be a little competitive (only when it is against myself). i’ve always wanted to do a 5k as a challenge, but sometime last year i admited to myself i really don’t like running. that might be one challenge for myself that may never happen. surprisingly, i found another. on a few other fitness forums and weight loss/fitness blogs i’ve seen the one hundred push up challenge. why this? for me it’s doable and it falls in line with my yoga goal of being stronger to practice some of the fancy arm balances. it’s also a challenge that i can incorporate in my gym workouts with Michela.

my plan included dvds, audio workouts, spin classes, and Ann’s plan for me when i worked out with her. i will have to check on what gyms offer spin classes that fit into my schedule. due to my schedule, i have to be able to change things as needed.

The Rambling Rotation for the next four weeks:

Monday Ellen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Tuesday – Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge

Wednesday Ellen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Thursday – Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge

FridayEllen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Saturday & Sunday wild card days.

Possible Saturday Spinning &/or Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge OR seeing clients OR  rest

Possible Sunday – Saturday’s workout plan if it doesn’t get done that day. OR Cardio Coach on elliptical & Yoga

i forgive myself. i am not beating myself up because i fell off the wagon.

to keep being negative about it would just sink me down even further.  i understand what happened. last year around thanksgiving my dog, who i raised since she was about a month old or so, got really sick.  cancer. a tumor that invaded the vena cava and stole her oxygen trying to get to her heart. on december 6th, 2007 we had to let her go because there was nothing else we could do for her. it broke my heart.

thanksgiving was always the day we celebrated her birthday, since she loved food. it was pretty much exactly 10 years to the week when she came into our lives that she also left us. needless to say i was a mess on the inside. i hid it rather well. i would talk about her and my sadness. i did my job. i smiled and laugh….but inside i was numb. very numb. even as i write this, christmas lost it’s joy.

i fell into stop and shop cupcakes, bags of kettlecorn, soda after months of not having any, chocolate and peanutbutter, turkey chili dogs with potato rolls, etc.  clean eating? what was that during those weeks. the gym became just a place i worked at, not workout in. my bed became my friend, and BJ’s wholesalers became a place i wandered around in to take up the time.

i can make up all kinds of excuses, but what it came down to was just lifelessness. the drive was still in me. i still admired those at the gym who worked out pretty good — pat, tayna, debbie, amanda, and strangers who had their pony tails flying while running on the treadmills. i admired yell for her commitment to yoga during her sabataical from the real world while she lived in san diego. i admired the women who were brave enough and survived ann’s bootcamp classes.  i admired all of them, while i couldn’t make myself do anything but mourn and eat.

thursday morning, michelle got her groove back…well sorta. i found a workout partner – michela. she also fell into a slump with experiencing the  economic downturn firsthand.  in a way, i understood her funk. we talked a bit. i’m not sure what possessed me to call her at 7:40am in the morning, but i did. happily she answered and didn’t hang up. i had a preschool yoga class at 8am and then the rest of the day free until the early evening. she met me at the Y and we played around at the fitness center.

since it was all last minute, i didn’t have a plan. she wanted to work abs. and i just wanted to move. so i recalled many of the things ann (the trainer and bootcamp queen) had me do during my short time with her.  it felt good.  we did lunges with curls. squats with raises, used the medicine and bouncy/stability balls. we even got on some of the machines. it was just awesome having another person’s energy around to workout with. to push each other and to chat a little while working out.

she texted me this morning with three words: “my abs hurt!” mine did too, and i loved it! i sit and type now feeling the soreness in my arms, i miss this. really i do.

working out with someone is 10x better than being on your own.  i think that is why i enjoyed having a trainer when i did.  unfortunately i can’t afford another one at the moment. so when i don’t have michela …i have to dig down and push myself.

we are going to make a go of working out together more often if possible. the only thing is i can only do it when i am in her neck of the woods, which is two to three times a week. and she can only when she doesn’t have to work one of her part time jobs.

it inspired me, and i am aching to move. so i sit here dedicating myself again to this blog and to my goals. my head is swirling with ideas for our next workout session, and what i can do on my own.

one of the fitness forums is doing a winter yoga sadhana and i am most likely going to join.

to lose weight the math is simple…calories in versus calories out.

Calories In:

there are tons of programs out there which have worked for many people – weight watchers, jenny craig, the zone, atkins, south beach, etc.  cut the carbs, cut the fat, cut the (fill in the blank). i have to take a holistic approach to my journey. when things are too restrictive with food, i end up on a binge doing more harm. it’s that control issue.

as i have gotten further in my wellness journey with teaching yoga and opening my own massage therapy practice, i’ve increased my interest in nutrition.  at somepoint i would love to attend a particular nutritional program offered in NYC.  this is the perfect time to explore that aspect of health using this experience as a foundation.  after reviewing numerous ways to eat, clean eating and intutitive eating are the two that stand out and connect with me.  if you know me in real life, i am a gardner and a cook. i know the value of a tomato off of the vine, or not being afraid to try a new vegetable. there is a real passion  and love for real fresh foods.  i fell into a rut of processed foods because of the ease due to my crazy schedule. it’s time go back to real foods and making my own meals. for convience, i will keep a stack of prepared meals that i’ve cooked in the freezer for a quick defrost and microwave when i am in a pinch.

i am aiming for 85% -90% clean eating. there will be things i need to use processed (canned beans, tomato paste, frozen veggies in some cases, etc). this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. so for now i am going to eat clean at least 6 days a week.  i don’t want to call it a cheat day. it’s more like a free day where IF i want something that is not clean, there is no guilt and no binge. Friday will be my day.

i’ll get into the principles of clean eating and intutive eating for another post.  there are many books and even magazines out there on the subject these days.  i can be very type A personality at times, so i like to prepare and plan.  since i put my foot down that i was going to finally lose weight, i’ve been pouring over my cookbooks and magazines. friday i hit the markets, picked over what was left in the garden, and hunkered down cooking up a storm.  i’m not going to stay to the exact menu, but i have choices. and if i want to make something else that is in the clean eating principle i will, and freeze some for a later date.

split between the freezer and the fridge are:

soups: butternut squash, lentil and barley stew, and shrimp with veggies broth

proteins: turkey meat loaf, and grilled or boiled shrimp

veggies: mashed cauliflower, and various frozen veggies

at this point i am not paying attention to calories.  I am checking out the calories, and with respect choosing recipes that aren’t insane with them.  i have switched refined sugar in my tea or on my oatmeal to honey or agave nectar.

down the road i would love to try a day with just raw food. right now i’m not ready for that big of a change. there is plenty of time for that because this is a lifestyle change not a diet. if i need to tweek anything i will, i have to listen to my body and see what happens.

Live. Love. Laugh.