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list making runs deep within me.  maybe it’s a virgo thing.

after writing yesterday i thought about what should i do about exercising.  sure i have my gym partner Michela on some days….but what about those days without her?  My biggest downfall in the past has been resting days when it comes to working out.  it becomes easier for me to stay in resting mode than to just keep moving.  it doesn’t have to be a big workout, just something to keep me on track. the antsyness drives me nuts when i do get into the groove of working out and have resting days.  i have to keep up that drive to continue to move.  so my plan will not include any official resting days only lighter days. if my body does say rest, i will.

the other thing running through my mind is that i’ve been wanting to play with ellen barrett’s studio workouts.  when i was able to attend her classes at the studio, i enjoyed them.  unfortunately, she closed her studio but she did release the workouts on dvds. i don’t own those specific dvds, but she did a similar series for crunch fitness which i do own.

challenges have also been a really good motivator for me, since i can be a little competitive (only when it is against myself). i’ve always wanted to do a 5k as a challenge, but sometime last year i admited to myself i really don’t like running. that might be one challenge for myself that may never happen. surprisingly, i found another. on a few other fitness forums and weight loss/fitness blogs i’ve seen the one hundred push up challenge. why this? for me it’s doable and it falls in line with my yoga goal of being stronger to practice some of the fancy arm balances. it’s also a challenge that i can incorporate in my gym workouts with Michela.

my plan included dvds, audio workouts, spin classes, and Ann’s plan for me when i worked out with her. i will have to check on what gyms offer spin classes that fit into my schedule. due to my schedule, i have to be able to change things as needed.

The Rambling Rotation for the next four weeks:

Monday Ellen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Tuesday – Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge

Wednesday Ellen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Thursday – Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge

FridayEllen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Saturday & Sunday wild card days.

Possible Saturday Spinning &/or Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge OR seeing clients OR  rest

Possible Sunday – Saturday’s workout plan if it doesn’t get done that day. OR Cardio Coach on elliptical & Yoga

i forgive myself. i am not beating myself up because i fell off the wagon.

to keep being negative about it would just sink me down even further.  i understand what happened. last year around thanksgiving my dog, who i raised since she was about a month old or so, got really sick.  cancer. a tumor that invaded the vena cava and stole her oxygen trying to get to her heart. on december 6th, 2007 we had to let her go because there was nothing else we could do for her. it broke my heart.

thanksgiving was always the day we celebrated her birthday, since she loved food. it was pretty much exactly 10 years to the week when she came into our lives that she also left us. needless to say i was a mess on the inside. i hid it rather well. i would talk about her and my sadness. i did my job. i smiled and laugh….but inside i was numb. very numb. even as i write this, christmas lost it’s joy.

i fell into stop and shop cupcakes, bags of kettlecorn, soda after months of not having any, chocolate and peanutbutter, turkey chili dogs with potato rolls, etc.  clean eating? what was that during those weeks. the gym became just a place i worked at, not workout in. my bed became my friend, and BJ’s wholesalers became a place i wandered around in to take up the time.

i can make up all kinds of excuses, but what it came down to was just lifelessness. the drive was still in me. i still admired those at the gym who worked out pretty good — pat, tayna, debbie, amanda, and strangers who had their pony tails flying while running on the treadmills. i admired yell for her commitment to yoga during her sabataical from the real world while she lived in san diego. i admired the women who were brave enough and survived ann’s bootcamp classes.  i admired all of them, while i couldn’t make myself do anything but mourn and eat.

thursday morning, michelle got her groove back…well sorta. i found a workout partner – michela. she also fell into a slump with experiencing the  economic downturn firsthand.  in a way, i understood her funk. we talked a bit. i’m not sure what possessed me to call her at 7:40am in the morning, but i did. happily she answered and didn’t hang up. i had a preschool yoga class at 8am and then the rest of the day free until the early evening. she met me at the Y and we played around at the fitness center.

since it was all last minute, i didn’t have a plan. she wanted to work abs. and i just wanted to move. so i recalled many of the things ann (the trainer and bootcamp queen) had me do during my short time with her.  it felt good.  we did lunges with curls. squats with raises, used the medicine and bouncy/stability balls. we even got on some of the machines. it was just awesome having another person’s energy around to workout with. to push each other and to chat a little while working out.

she texted me this morning with three words: “my abs hurt!” mine did too, and i loved it! i sit and type now feeling the soreness in my arms, i miss this. really i do.

working out with someone is 10x better than being on your own.  i think that is why i enjoyed having a trainer when i did.  unfortunately i can’t afford another one at the moment. so when i don’t have michela …i have to dig down and push myself.

we are going to make a go of working out together more often if possible. the only thing is i can only do it when i am in her neck of the woods, which is two to three times a week. and she can only when she doesn’t have to work one of her part time jobs.

it inspired me, and i am aching to move. so i sit here dedicating myself again to this blog and to my goals. my head is swirling with ideas for our next workout session, and what i can do on my own.

one of the fitness forums is doing a winter yoga sadhana and i am most likely going to join.

“i didn’t know we were going to sweat!” said the older woman next to me.

Karin the instructor responded, “that is why it’s called Cardio Tease.  some men like a little sweat.”

it was a great exchange and the whole class laughed because we were all sweating.  Cardio Tease is strip tease choreography, sexiness, and a workout rolled all into one…with your clothes on!  at one point your mind turns off thinking about what you are doing, and  just have fun with it.

the class was filled with seven beautiful women, including the instructor, of all shapes and sizes bringing out their sexiness with sultry moves.  the moves weren’t crazy difficult. i was able to follow along quite well. (although i have two left feet with choreography, i do have some rhythm), at some point you get so into it, and nerves fly out the window. you forget about the men, taking moments out of their workout on the other side of the window, to check us out. maybe it had something to do with the energy in the room, awesome music Karen picked out, just being in the moment, or all of the above.

although my knees and hips made me modify some of the moves, i felt damn sexy.  i didn’t feel like a potato.  sweat dripping into my eyes. my core, hips and thighs were absolutely getting worked.  i laughed, had fun and was happy i didn’t talk myself out taking the class.

choreography is not always my friend.  me taking a step or a hi/lo class is watching a train wreck. choreography is one of the reasons why i don’t teach Zumba that i am certified for.  i love to dance, but i can’t always get down the moves.  Hip Hop, Cardio Tease, Bellydancing, Zumba, Latin Impact, and various other unique classes have been offered at the various fitness centers i work in.  one of two things usually happened, i couldn’t go because i was scheduled somewhere to teach or i would talk myself out of it.

i couldn’t come up with a valid excuse. since i was already teaching i would already be there with an hour in between to kill. the class i teach on friday morning wasn’t before sunrise, so i didn’t have to be in bed early.  there was no way i could talk myself out of it. i’m happy that i didn’t.

the hour to kill between teaching and teasing was spent on the elliptical and stretching, just a nice steady state cardio since i wasn’t quite sure exactly what  Cardio Tease was going to be, besides the obvious.  it was nice and what my body needed. my hips started to feel pangs of discomfort, and i started to stretch (pigeon pose and a few twists) until Cardio Tease time.

when Karin offers this class again, i will be there if i am not teaching. i’m contemplating taking her Hip Hop class on wednesday evening. classes like these make cardio fun and interesting for me.

…oh and yes we did slap our butts.

Live. Love. Laugh