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list making runs deep within me.  maybe it’s a virgo thing.

after writing yesterday i thought about what should i do about exercising.  sure i have my gym partner Michela on some days….but what about those days without her?  My biggest downfall in the past has been resting days when it comes to working out.  it becomes easier for me to stay in resting mode than to just keep moving.  it doesn’t have to be a big workout, just something to keep me on track. the antsyness drives me nuts when i do get into the groove of working out and have resting days.  i have to keep up that drive to continue to move.  so my plan will not include any official resting days only lighter days. if my body does say rest, i will.

the other thing running through my mind is that i’ve been wanting to play with ellen barrett’s studio workouts.  when i was able to attend her classes at the studio, i enjoyed them.  unfortunately, she closed her studio but she did release the workouts on dvds. i don’t own those specific dvds, but she did a similar series for crunch fitness which i do own.

challenges have also been a really good motivator for me, since i can be a little competitive (only when it is against myself). i’ve always wanted to do a 5k as a challenge, but sometime last year i admited to myself i really don’t like running. that might be one challenge for myself that may never happen. surprisingly, i found another. on a few other fitness forums and weight loss/fitness blogs i’ve seen the one hundred push up challenge. why this? for me it’s doable and it falls in line with my yoga goal of being stronger to practice some of the fancy arm balances. it’s also a challenge that i can incorporate in my gym workouts with Michela.

my plan included dvds, audio workouts, spin classes, and Ann’s plan for me when i worked out with her. i will have to check on what gyms offer spin classes that fit into my schedule. due to my schedule, i have to be able to change things as needed.

The Rambling Rotation for the next four weeks:

Monday Ellen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Tuesday – Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge

Wednesday Ellen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Thursday – Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge

FridayEllen Barrett dvd & Cardio

Saturday & Sunday wild card days.

Possible Saturday Spinning &/or Gym workout  (based loosely on Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred dvd, Ann’s workout, & cardio); Push Up Challenge OR seeing clients OR  rest

Possible Sunday – Saturday’s workout plan if it doesn’t get done that day. OR Cardio Coach on elliptical & Yoga

i forgive myself. i am not beating myself up because i fell off the wagon.

to keep being negative about it would just sink me down even further.  i understand what happened. last year around thanksgiving my dog, who i raised since she was about a month old or so, got really sick.  cancer. a tumor that invaded the vena cava and stole her oxygen trying to get to her heart. on december 6th, 2007 we had to let her go because there was nothing else we could do for her. it broke my heart.

thanksgiving was always the day we celebrated her birthday, since she loved food. it was pretty much exactly 10 years to the week when she came into our lives that she also left us. needless to say i was a mess on the inside. i hid it rather well. i would talk about her and my sadness. i did my job. i smiled and laugh….but inside i was numb. very numb. even as i write this, christmas lost it’s joy.

i fell into stop and shop cupcakes, bags of kettlecorn, soda after months of not having any, chocolate and peanutbutter, turkey chili dogs with potato rolls, etc.  clean eating? what was that during those weeks. the gym became just a place i worked at, not workout in. my bed became my friend, and BJ’s wholesalers became a place i wandered around in to take up the time.

i can make up all kinds of excuses, but what it came down to was just lifelessness. the drive was still in me. i still admired those at the gym who worked out pretty good — pat, tayna, debbie, amanda, and strangers who had their pony tails flying while running on the treadmills. i admired yell for her commitment to yoga during her sabataical from the real world while she lived in san diego. i admired the women who were brave enough and survived ann’s bootcamp classes.  i admired all of them, while i couldn’t make myself do anything but mourn and eat.

thursday morning, michelle got her groove back…well sorta. i found a workout partner – michela. she also fell into a slump with experiencing the  economic downturn firsthand.  in a way, i understood her funk. we talked a bit. i’m not sure what possessed me to call her at 7:40am in the morning, but i did. happily she answered and didn’t hang up. i had a preschool yoga class at 8am and then the rest of the day free until the early evening. she met me at the Y and we played around at the fitness center.

since it was all last minute, i didn’t have a plan. she wanted to work abs. and i just wanted to move. so i recalled many of the things ann (the trainer and bootcamp queen) had me do during my short time with her.  it felt good.  we did lunges with curls. squats with raises, used the medicine and bouncy/stability balls. we even got on some of the machines. it was just awesome having another person’s energy around to workout with. to push each other and to chat a little while working out.

she texted me this morning with three words: “my abs hurt!” mine did too, and i loved it! i sit and type now feeling the soreness in my arms, i miss this. really i do.

working out with someone is 10x better than being on your own.  i think that is why i enjoyed having a trainer when i did.  unfortunately i can’t afford another one at the moment. so when i don’t have michela …i have to dig down and push myself.

we are going to make a go of working out together more often if possible. the only thing is i can only do it when i am in her neck of the woods, which is two to three times a week. and she can only when she doesn’t have to work one of her part time jobs.

it inspired me, and i am aching to move. so i sit here dedicating myself again to this blog and to my goals. my head is swirling with ideas for our next workout session, and what i can do on my own.

one of the fitness forums is doing a winter yoga sadhana and i am most likely going to join.

My ass hurts. Even though i used the gel seat for spin…my butt was still in a slight discomfort today. I was hoping to take Julia’s spin class after my yoga class today, but she suggested i wait. In time i am hoping to do at least three spin classes a week as I grow stronger. In the mean time i need to do something.

The idea of moving the body everyday in someway has been popping up on various fitness sites i check in on.  It doesn’t mean i would workout every single day, as i know the body does need rest, but a walk would count. Honestly, this may be the best way for me to go. If i tend to miss a day at the gym because i am suppose to rest, it seriously screws me up because i want to move and play when i get into the habit.

Starting to tomorrow i will do some sort of movement outside of my teaching classes. No routine, no set schedule, just moving and having fun. And if i miss a day, i have to start at Day 1 again. For someone like me, who can get obessive when it comes to numbers  this could be a good thing. To keep me going will be small rewards like ITune cards. (Music to infuse my workouts). For every 15 days i get $15 in ITunes that will not be work related music.

To start in small steps..my goal this week is to move every single day this week. Monday to Sunday.

Food goal is to stay on track.

I  feel like a potato.
Really. I was in a yoga class one day  wearing a grey t shirt and yoga pants. I looked in the mirror and right away, I knew what i reminded myself of – a potato. Somewhere along the the few years i lost most of curves with emotional eating, less movement, and putting low quality foods into my body. I know how i got here, and honestly i know the formula of how to get out of this potato body and find my curves again. So what’s my problem?
Honestly, I’m not sure. One goal of this blog is to help me figure it out, and to keep me accountable for my weight loss journey. Going public puts it out there, whether people read or not. I know this blog is here with my workouts, my foods, and what ever i need to work through.
Making a blog about my journey, keeps me honest and hopefully on track.From Fat to Fierce is not about me getting “skinny,” i’ve never been that in my life and i don’t think it is in my genes. I believe in a healthy weight while being curvy. Right now i’m fat (it’s true, and there is nothing wrong with that word). I miss my curves.  This blog is about accountablity and getting not just a smaller non potato body, but a healthier lifestyle and loving my body.
My goals for this journey:
  • to lower my body fat, weight, and inches (numbers are coming soon)
  • to accomplish some yoga goals ( forearm stand and handstand without the wall) and acro yoga
  • to bring out my inner athlete
  • to not turn to food for comfort when emotionally distressed
  • in losing weight to take relieve some physical discomforts that happened within in the last two years.
Welcome to my journey, from fat to fierce i go!
Live.Love.Laugh,
m