Cheat day doesn’t seem right. A day of freedom maybe? A day where I’m not worried about what i put into my body. No worries of calories, no worries of what or how much to eat. Just a day to relax and let it go. Calling it a cheat day doesn’t add the positive spin i am trying to put on this journey. Freedom day doesn’t sound right either. Either way i am allowing myself one of those each week, although i am finding that i really don’t need it so much.

The first week wasn’t as hard as it could have been. I made my shopping list, and on that first Friday i cooked my meals for the week, and froze a lot for the future. That week my mom made yummy southern/soulfood style banana pudding, a weakness of mine. It’s not often that banana pudding is made, so it is a rare treat. I had to have some, even though it wasn’t my free day.  I did feel some conflicting feelings over this, including a smattering of guilt. If i had denied myself, the outcome would have been worse.

I wasn’t a hog and eating mounds of it, but i ate enough.  I went back later that evening, the next day and the day after that. A weakness. At one point i had to put aside the guilt, it was hard. I had to accept that i did eat but that i didn’t gorge, i did keep portion size and my food intake for the week was all clean eating (turkey meatloaf, cauliflower smash, veggies, brown rice, shrimp, etc).  The biggest win was and has been i haven’t had any type of soda since i started this journey.

The elimination of soda from my foods has been a huge win. The cans that would fill the recycle bin was like a small mountain.  Honestly, i would drink it even though i thought it tasted like horrible battery acid or something.  The sweetness would keep me hooked, like a drug. I would drink so much soda that i would wake up with a dehydrated hang over (major headaches and feeling really sugglish). If i knew i was drinking too much, i would make sure to have a bottle or two of water to counteract the dehyration.  Since this journey i haven’t had a drop of soda. I have been tempted, but i just look in the fridge and think about that taste which i really do not like, and i pass.

I do have a serious sugar addiction. this past week or two i have had less than a tablespoon of white sugar. i have substituted it with honey or agave nectar to lightly sweeten fruit or oatmeal.  The craving for cakes or pies haven’t happened yet. I’m looking different cookbooks so i can keep it clean.

I’ve had amazing support on this journey and it’s only the start. Brittney loaned me some of her Clean Eating and Nutrition magazines and cookbooks. I’ve been pouring over those, figuring out my menus.  I’ve stocked the fridge with grapes, bananas, peaches and sliced apples so i have no excuse. I can easily grab that for a quick snack between meals or to hold off hunger while i am waiting for the microwave to finish heating up my frozen lunch or dinner.

Today’s cooking marathon included turkey chili (four types of beans, eggplant, broccoli, squash, tomatoes, peppers, and onions), curried butternut squash soup (butternut, sweet potato, carrots, and no cream), and mashed cauliflower with garlic.  Most of it will be popped into the freezer for future consumption.